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I LOVE YOU BUT I WON'T HUG YOU.

Posted on 24 July, 2020 at 22:00

 

Being a celebrant and being a hugger go pretty much hand in hand. I speak for 99% of hitchers when I say that we’re a bloody passionate lot. From go to woah we ride the love roller coaster with you and by the time you’ve locked down your love we’re ready for a celebratory snuggle.

 

BUT since the C-word has come to town (or every town for that matter) you won’t find me all up in your grill. It will hurt. I will pine. Every inch of me will want to squeeze you. I love you, I’m excited for you, BUT I won’t hug you.

 

What, Why? You ask. And that, my friends is a very good question. Full disclosure, not all of these apply to me personally but they may just hit the nail on the head for you. So, buckle up. Let’s get real.

 

I am a celebrant (duh). But let’s break that down. During quieter months (March to December 2020, I’m looking at you) will see me hitching anywhere between 2 and 8 sets of lovebirds. Let’s add an average guest list of 80 people. You’re looking at me being in contact with close to 700 people, per month (outside of my personal life). That’s a lot right?! Now, just now, imagine if any one of those people were carrying the wretched virus. With dormant periods and the potential for asymptomatic carriers - picture the worst case scenario. Just thinking about it is terrifying. That’s why, I love you - but, I won’t hug you.

 

I am a mother. I have two babies, the youngest is only three months old, the oldest is not yet two. They are vulnerable. I do everything I can to look after them and that means distancing from almost everyone, regardless of the situation. It’s easy at the grocery shops but when the love buzz hits it’s so hard to hold back. That’s why; I love you - but, I won’t hug you.

 

I am a healthcare worker. A frontline worker. A pharmacist, a midwife, a doctor. Every precaution is taken to avoid transmission, but what if somehow things fall between the cracks? What if I get close to you, then you to an elderly relative? I could never risk it. That’s why; I love you - but, I won’t hug you.

 

I have a compromised immune system. COVID scares the hell out of me. It might just be an ‘old person’ virus to you but for me it could mean the difference between life and death. I might be public about my illness or maybe it’s something I hold close to my chest. Either way, I’m doing my best to keep my distance. That’s why; I love you – but I won’t hug you.

 

I am elderly. I am the statistic – you know, the one that you constantly hear in the media. People like me are falling ill; very ill. I am so desperate not to become one of them. That’s why; I love you – but I won’t hug you.

 

I’m just not comfortable. That’s why; I love you – but I won’t hug you.

 

In these times it’s so important that we be kind to each other and ourselves. The dreaded C-word has caused chaos in our lives and effed with so many plans. If you’re still planning on a big wedding celebration read on for some practical tips on making your guests feel at ease with the ‘rona

 

Ever been to a traffic light party? Green means ‘single and ready to mingle’, red means ‘taken’ and orange means… well, I’ve never really understood that one. Before I get side-tracked, what I’m getting at is that having a way to identify which guests are comfortable with close contact is an easy way of reducing awkward interactions between family and friends. Think stickers, wrist bands or whatever else tickles your pickle.

 

OH+S chat. Yep, we’ve all heard them before. But if I’m delivering your wedding you bet your bottom dollar that I’ll throw a quick one of these in there. Nothing too dire, not too full on. Just enough to make you and your pals feel comfortable and know that everything is being done to maximise party vibes and minimise worries. Ok? – Cool.

 

Rest assured that while your OH+S chat might be short and not too formal, behind the scenes I have put together a comprehensive COVID safe plan and have been registered as a COVIDsafe business. If you would like help with any ideas or would like to take a squizz just let me know. This isn’t just for my couples, you’re all welcome to take a peek.

 

Last but not least – now, more than ever it is important that you have your dream team of vendors behind you. When you book someone that you vibe with, you know that they’re on your side. Your vendors are here to support you, to ride out the clusterf*ck and to give you options. Just because your wedding might not look like your original plans doesn’t mean that your dream team can’t knock your socks off. Pick our brains – we’re here to help.

 

And before I leave you be - if you can, find your silver lining. Look at your lover. They’re your reason. Remember that and know that you love them AND you can hug them.

 


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kids at weddings

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Kids at Weddings

Photo: Keegan Cronin

If I had a cent for every time I got asked for my two cents on kids at weddings I would be slightly less poor. But in all seriousness, this is SUCH a personal decision. Four years ago, when I was in the height of wedding planning the answer was an easy no. Fast forward to the now and the tables have turned.


It’s not an easy decision, or one that should be made for any other reason except the preference of the people getting married (but hey, that’s my stance of 99% of wedding related things).

But, what I have done is broken down some of the considerations, tips and tricks to help you make an informed decision and also a little bit of a guide of things you can do to make it easier on yourselves.

Before we jump in, I want to preface this with; just because you welcome kids to a ceremony doesn’t mean you have to include them for the reception and vice versa. Your day, your way.


It’s a NO from me – or five reasons why kids at your wedding might not be your jam.

1. The idea of kids screaming or running around during your vows makes your skin crawl

2. If you invited everyone’s kids to your wedding, you’d be way over budget

3. Your wedding isn’t a child-friendly affair – champagne, candles, drunk guests and a banging d-floor might not make the perfect mix for little ones hanging around

4. You’d like your friends and family to have a night off and give them the opportunity to let their hair down

5. You simply don’t want children there. There’s no single reason, you just don’t want it.


… on the flip side …


I can’t imagine getting married without the little loves – or five reasons why kids at weddings rule

1. There’s nothing cuter than watching the little ones in your life break it down on the d-floor.

2. Photos. See above.

3. Those unscripted moments. The innocent comments, the ooooh’s and aaaah’s. These inbetweeners than add to the magic of the moment.

4. You just simply can’t imagine celebrating such a milestone without some of your favourite little people.

5. Have you ever seen the excitement on a child’s face during a first dance? For them, it’s a real life fairytale and all their dreams come true.

6. You don’t need a reason. If you’d like the little ones there, invite them along. Then, it’s up to the individual parents to decide if they want to bring them.


Next week on the blog;

Ok, so we’ve decided to include kids on our guest list – what can we do to keep them entertained AND make sure we/their parents have a kick-ass time.